


Have Gun, Will Always Love You

by misura



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 22:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20015521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: With a couple of hitmen after him, what's a guy to do except hit on his (very hot, mucho mysterious) bodyguard? (bodyguard!AU)





	Have Gun, Will Always Love You

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: _Cougar/Jensen, bodyguard!AU_

It had been love at first sight, really. Fate.

Jensen had said, "Hi, I'm Jensen."

Cougar had given him a look and then jumped him on the spot, tackling him to the floor like a man who means business.

The stuff of romance.

Two days later, they were in a hotel - same room, separate beds, so eh. On the plus side, they were both still alive, persistent attempts by parties unknown to change that situation notwithstanding.

Jensen had had bodyguards before. Most of them had quit inside of a week.

Cougar felt like a stayer. Which might mean Cougar might turn into a goner, as in: killed in the line of duty, and in theory, sure, that was what bodyguards were for, weren't they, but Jensen was a big softie, so the idea sort of bothered him.

"So I looked you up on-line," he said, to initiate part one of his Getting Rid of Cougs plan. Jensen liked that 'Cougs'. He'd come up with it himself, and Cougar seemed okay with Jensen calling him that, probably because he was as madly in love with Jensen as Jensen was with him.

Or possibly because Jensen'd never called him 'Cougs' out loud. Who could say?

Cougar muttered something under his breath. Cougar was big on muttering. Also mumbling, whispering, hissing, from time to time, and a bit of lip-biting and eye-rolling. Jensen couldn't wait to find out what Cougar was like in bed, except for the part where he totally could, because Jensen believed in seducing people in a subtle and sensitive way.

"And, I mean, I gotta say - well." Jensen chuckled in a way he hoped implied that he had hit paydirt. Big time. As opposed to finding out pretty much nothing. He assumed Cougar had been born at some point in his life (the beginning seemed logical) but you wouldn't be able to tell it from his file.

"What?" Cougar said. He'd been re-assembling his gun and then taking it apart again to start over, and Jensen had been trying to come up with a way to turn that into an opening for some light flirtatious banter for the past thirty minutes. No dice so far.

"So how about this weather we've been having, huh?"

Cougar gave him a smoldering look that promised hot sex and sweet lovemaking. Maybe. It might also just mean that he was thirsty, annoyed, happy, sad or experiencing any other sort of emotion. Cougar's expressions were tricky like that. He had one of those faces. Attractive, but inscrutable.

Jensen sighed and settled down for another nap. He'd have prefered to get in some serious gaming time, but with Cougar there, it didn't feel right somehow. Rude.

Three hotels and five explosions later (a clear case of overkill if Jensen had ever seen one) Cougar was still sticking around, showing not the least sign that Jensen's campaign was working.

Ingratitude, that was what it was.

"You ever think of taking up a different career?" Jensen asked. "Like, I don't know, gardening? Bet you could make a mean gardener. Or, hey, assassin."

Cougar gave him look #371. (Jensen had started to take pictures and number them, on the basis that he did need something to do.) "No money in gardening," he said.

"Bet you there's money in killing people," Jensen said. He'd looked up how much these goons that were trying to blow him up were getting paid. He'd felt a bit insulted on their behalf, to be honest. He'd considered writing them an e-mail, suggesting they form a union or something, demand better pay and, at the very least, dental, but then one of them got a bit careless and Jensen figured whatever.

Not his problem.

Cougar gave him look #005. (#006 was the 'Alec Trevelyan' look. Jensen had a nice little speech prepared for that one, including the phrase 'curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal'. He'd recorded it a dozen times until he got it right, and then he'd dropped it as an encrypted file on Cougar's phone, to be decrypted in the event of Jensen's death and/or severe injury.)

"So tell me something about yourself," Jensen said.

Cougar considered and then he shook his head.

"Good talk, buddy." Jensen told himself he'd rather have a bodyguard who said little but stuck around than a chatty one who left as soon as someone shot at him, except that he did want Cougar to leave before he got himself killed, actually. "Good talk. Great times."

There were a couple more hotels and a couple more explosions, as well as some poisoned champagne and some waitresses with literal stiletto heels which got Jensen feeling like he'd gotten stuck in an old-school James Bond movie or something, and Cougar just sort of handled all of it like the pro he apparently was, even if Jensen still hadn't been able to dig up a single speck of dirt on him on-line.

Truth be told, he'd sort of stopped trying by now - nothing wrong with a bit of mystery to keep a relationship interesting. Jensen made sure he kept his own mystique intact, too, putting on his serious face and headphones when he wasn't able to resist the siren call of World of Warcraft any longer.

It was nice, was what it was. It worked. _They_ worked, him and Cougs vs the rest of the world.

Jensen felt like any moment now, one of them might finally crack under the pressure of all that raw, unresolved sexual tension they had going between them, and then they'd kiss and the end credits would start rolling, tastefully concealing the wild, hot monkey sex that would follow.

"Hey," he said. (It'd probably be him. Cougar never cracked. Cougar was tough like that.)

Cougar looked up. He'd been playing with his guns again.

"I haven't got a gun in my pocket, you know," Jensen said. It had sounded a lot more suave in his head.

"Si," Cougar said. He was really good with those guns, Jensen reflected. Also Spanish. Who didn't love a guy who spoke Spanish? Language of love, or, if you wished, amor.

"What I meant to say was - " Jensen tried to come up with a way to say 'please have sex with me' without sounding quite so needy. It'd be great sex, after all. Jensen was no slouch in the sex department himself. Cougar'd get plenty out of the experience, too. "Do you ... want another cup of coffee?"

"No, thank you," Cougar said.

"I'm going to take a shower." A cold one. He'd feel lots better, after, and also very cold. Fun times.

Jensen's chance finally came when hotel number who-cares gave them a room with only one bed.

"Right," Jensen said. "So. I could ... make a call to reception?"

Cougar shrugged.

"Or not. I could also not make a call to reception. Whatever you want. I mean, you're the boss. Well, technically that's me, I'm the boss, but, you know, details. We could share. I'm okay with sharing. Are you okay with sharing?"

Cougar kissed him. It was the most magical moment of Jensen's life, including that time in Disneyland when he'd met Mickey. Heck, including that time in Disneyland when he'd met _Minnie_ , that was how magical it was.

"You talk too much," Cougar said.

"You don't. Talk too much," Jensen said. "And long silences make me uncomfortable because of my parents, and I'd really like not to think about my parents right now, so - "

Cougar kissed him again, and it was twice as magical as the first time he'd done it.

"Sorry, what were we talking about again?"

"Bed," Cougar said, already stripping. A man of few words and many secrets.

"Great idea," Jensen said, discovering he seemed to have forgotten how his shirt worked, except then Cougar came over and helped him and it turned out to be real simple after all, and also Cougar might very well be the god of kissing, and Jensen was probably going to feel just a bit insecure about that tomorrow morning, but not right now.


End file.
